My First Post Without Ottilie

When I wrote this post for social media…

I knew it wouldn’t be the one that people were expecting from the picture. It is a post that is deeply personal and took a lot of thought before sharing.

A little over 8 weeks ago @ingrambenjamin and I became parents to Ottilie Eve Ingram.

Around 10 hours before she was born we were given the devastating news that her tiny heart had stopped beating. She was supposed to be born that day, she was, but we never heard her cry or saw the colour of her eyes, we will never get to see her smile or wipe away her tears. 

The excruciating pain of this loss has at times been unbearable. The support of our family and friends has been overwhelming. The love we have for Ottilie, for each other and for our support team has kept us going. 

We have become members of the most terrible secret club, one that few people speak of and yet any prospective parent could become a fully fledged member. In the weeks that have passed I have realised that one thing I can do is to speak about Ottilie and about what has happened. 

According to @sandscharity around 15 babies die every day before, during or just after birth in the UK. I remain shocked by this staggering statistic not only because it breaks my heart that so many parents have their worlds blown apart on a daily basis but because we hear so little about it.
I want to try and help change that, #breakthesilence , give people the language to articulate their loss and give those that love them the tools to support them. 

I don’t know what that looks like yet but I have to start somewhere so here it is, my first post #withoutottilie . Like it, share it, comment if you would like to but most importantly be aware that this is about getting people talking about the loss of a baby in their lives.